Drafting Our Own Existence: On Vincent Chin, Activism, Community, Blogging, Loss, And Adoption

Wednesday, August 24, 2022

From a chapter written in 2021 on Vincent Chin, Community, and Blogging. While I think it turned out different than originally planned as I couldn't help but find these tethered pieces of adoption and loss that also started to permeate my writing--I like the dual conversation.

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I think Vincent Chin has stuck in the minds of the Asian American community and activists--as it should--because his murder and the reasons behind it were so blatant, so transparent, and so brutal. If we couldn’t get justice where two men could beat a man to death because he was Asian American, his killers tried three times with the same result of no jail time, when would we ever get justice?

In 2007 during APIA Heritage Month, I started the blog “Slant Eye For The Round Eye” (aka Slantyapolis). It was my way to contribute to the dialogue that was happening online in a larger, more connected way. The name was a nod to pop culture, tongue-in-cheek because the site was for and by the Asian American community, and my way of saying if people still wanted to be racist to us just because we were Asian American, I’d do the same. Along with the pseudonym “Slanty”, it was both a representation of what the blog’s overall tone was going to be—irreverent, sometimes profane, double meanings, a place where I would, and could, say anything I wanted—as well as misdirection. If some people came to find new Asian American music or entertainment, pop culture, or simply to see a litany of four-letter words scrawled across the digital space, at the same time they would find fact and history, numbers and data, somber moments from shared experiences and those who fought against those moments and ones like them.

When I think about Detroit and that night Vincent Chin was killed, I can’t begin to understand the fear, the loss, the rage—all the emotions he must have been feeling with each blow to his head that would end his life, realizing he wouldn’t make it to see his wedding day only a short week away.

As far as I can remember, I was always an observer. Vigilant. When I had the words and understood the landscape around me, I would use my voice to do what I could to help right the wrongs I saw, or to help show who we could be, who we were—sometimes on a more personal level, and sometimes with the hands of others across the community. From late night conversations and writings, to protests and community work, to just trying new things from another point of view (because while we can build on the history and work of others, we also need to blaze our own paths to continue movements forward)—blogging and outlets of that same ilk, was and continues to be, an extension of that observer. Still vigilant. Still in part a survival mechanism.

I never knew you, but we share that bond of the first family being taken away from us. You much older, those bonds that much harder to make, your life realized with something you had looked forward to, only to be taken away again. Your life, once more, out of your hands.[1]

Through blogging and online activism that bled into on-the-ground activism and community organizing, I was able to meet so many great people in the Asian American community across so many diverse paths and locations in the U.S. and around the world. Because it was intentional to highlight the Asian American community (as well as the motherlands), to talk about racism and racist structures, and to try to do it on a regular basis--at every turn I got to know something new about our community. At every turn I got to know someone new in our community. Musicians, writers, activists, politics, films, books, directors, journalists, other bloggers, chefs and foodies, actors, businesses—so many people and places that were pushing the faces and ideas of Asian Americans into a larger view—an ever-evolving ledger of who we were as individuals and as a community, connected at both the micro and macro. One of the first interviews I ever did on my blog was for The Slants, an Asian American band from the Portland area pushing their own sense of dance rock music, who over a decade later, went to the Supreme Court over their name and the right to call their band however they saw fit. What started out as a group’s desire to showcase Asian American music eventually turned into something that would affect more than the Asian American community. It’s those small ripples, making waves and crossing ponds, and the way they fit into the dialogue of our community and the movements that we encompass that I think is the most important.

Unlike you, I’m still alive. While I’ve known White Hands around my neck trying to squeeze the life out of me, an adopted mother’s eyes filled with rage when I was still a kid, I’m still breathing. While I think to myself that I’ve been fighting Whiteness and colonization since the day I came here, a product of the Vietnam war, but not Việt Nam’s war, I understand there is still work to do because even though we both found life outside of an orphanage, your life was taken away from you—the people who loved you denied the simple fact of knowing who you could become. Unlike you, I’m still alive.  

Malcontents with good hearts, thinkers and newshounds, people who didn’t quite feel represented, sometimes even among our own kind, “blogosphere” and emerging YouTube channels were showcasing who we were, tackling tough conversations, and shedding light on our communities. The Antisocial Ladder, Bicoastal Bitchin, The Minority Militant, Disgrasian, Degenerasian, 8 Asians, Strictly Platonic, Angry Asian Man, Nikkei View, Hyphen, YOMYOMF, channelAPA, MANNA, AArisings, Alpha Asian, Asian-Nation, NEAATO, Big WOWO, YellowBuzz, Original Spin, Sepia Mutiny, Kimchi Mamas, Rice Daddies, MetroDad, APA’s For Progress, Racebending, A Fistful Of Soundtracks, AAA-Fund, Reappropriate—the list goes on with many of the above still in existence in their current forms or spread to other media—I like to think of those blogs, during my early years especially, as this golden age of a generation who took to digital spaces to spread their truths.

I wonder what Lily Chin would say if she were alive today? To see the crimes against Asian Americans become more and more commonplace because of COVID-19. To see us being blamed, like her son was blamed, for something so far out of our control.

While I can talk about the merits and power of using online community building and a way to spread messaging far and wide in a way that individuals never had the power to do before its existence, there’s also the power of physicality. Seas of individuals washing over streets, shutting down interstates, coming together to fight against a common cause. It’s easy to delete a thousand e-mails if you don’t want to read them (regardless of if you’ll eventually have to deal with them)—but it’s much tougher to ignore a group of protestors standing in front of you day after day.

The two work together. There’s a balance. An intersectionality.

If the online world was where I could draft my own existence, the physical world was where I would help grow that existence into what it is today--adding a voice and a face to Miss Saigon protests, Fong Lee protests, shutting down streets and standing with communities for Philando Castile, Jamar Clark, Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, Eric Garner, George Floyd—with so many other names that could be added to that list—there is a power in standing in your own skin, in the light of day, next to someone else you may or may not know, but standing together for what you believe in.

I think to myself that Ronald Ebens is still trying to get away with murder. That somehow if he tries hard enough, he can abscond away with history, without paying his debt to you and your family. And while I think that is an important lesson—that hate exists without remorse and that we have to be prepared to defend ourselves, because the world is not just—I take comfort in the community that watches over you. The community that defends you.


[1] Vincent Chin was adopted at age six from an orphanage in China. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2002-jun-14-me-chin14-story.html

Playlist For The Day #StopAsianHate An Asian American Playlist Vol. 2

Saturday, August 20, 2022

 


•Main Channel: http://youtube.com/danielions •Instagram: http://instagram.com/danielionsmusic •Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/danielions •Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/danielions •Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/danielions •Vlog: http://youtube.com/danielionsvlogs


Tracklist: 1 - 0:00 - keshi - always 2 - 2:52 - slchld - pieces 3 - 5:17 - Jay Park - Dank 4 - 8:36 - No Rome - Hurry Home (with beabadoobee, Jay Som) 5 - 12:32 - KATIE - Classic 6 - 14:46 - Nieman - One-Sided 7 - 17:36 - keshi - less of you 8 - 21:02 - eaJ x Seori - It just is 9 - 24:01 - slchld - don’t waste your time 10 - 27:01 - Sonny Zero - Looking for 11 - 29:42 - DPR IAN - Dope Lovers 12 - 33:03 - Michelle - Not About Love 13 - 35:40 - Sway Bleu - Why You 14 - 38:05 - JUNNY - AURA (feat. pH-1) 15 - 41:32 - DPR LIVE - thirst 16 - 44:09 - nafla - gucci girl 17 - 47:30 - DPR LIVE - Playlist 18 - 50:22 - DPR IAN - zombie pop 19 - 52:16 - Jay Park - V 20 - 56:03 - pH-1 - Like Me 21 - 59:56 - Jay Park - All The Way Up 22 - 1:03:37 - CHAI, Sam Kim - Color You 23 - 1:07:28 - Sam Kim - Touch My Body 24 - 1:10:52 - LambC - Love Like That 25 - 1:14:28 - John OFA Rhee - WAITING 26 - 1:18:36 - LambC - Dear. Caramel 27 - 1:22:42 - slchld - she likes spring, I prefer winter 28 - 1:26:09 - Daphne Loves Derby - Simple, Starving to Be Safe 29 - 1:30:00 - Phum Viphurit - Lover Boy 30 - 1:33:55 - keshi - talk 31 - 1:36:49 - Dabin - Endlessly 32 - 1:41:10 - Dabin - Part-Time Lover

Summer Tunage: Japanese Breakfast - Be Sweet feat. So!YoON!

Saturday, August 20, 2022

 


This is the Korean version on the single--but still summer worthy.

"Be Sweet" feat. So!YoON! (Korean Version) by Japanese Breakfast, out now on Dead Oceans. Stream/Buy: https://japanesebreakfast.ffm.to/be-s... http://japanesebreakfast.rocks/ https://www.instagram.com/jbrekkie/ https://twitter.com/jbrekkie/ #JapaneseBreakfast #BeSweet #KoreanVersion


Summer Tunage: Conan Gray - Disaster

Saturday, August 20, 2022

 


The official music video for Conan Gray's "Disaster" taken from the new album Superache 🌹 https://conangray.lnk.to/superache Connect with Conan: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/conangray Twitter: https://twitter.com/conangray Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/conangrayoff... TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@conangray Official Site: http://www.conangray.com Lyrics: Let me just set the scene I’d just left the party at Blake’s And it’s Halloween Had the keys to my car in my hand But I didn’t leave Cuz the potential of us It was keeping me up All night long I left a text you won’t read All night long This could be a disaster There’s so many factors Like what if you freak out And then we’re losing it all At the critical chapter Where I say “I love you” And you don’t say it after? This could be a disaster I’m pedaling backwards By saying that “I’m drunk, I really shouldn't have called” I’m a little bit plastered... You call me a liar, Now I’m falling in faster. This could be a disaster. Let me just, lose my mind Is it purely platonic To call me like every night? You know, Ashley believes That there’s something between you and I But if I’m reading it wrong then it’d be better off if I died And if you’re reading the text all night long... This could be a disaster There’s so many factors Like what if you freak out And then we’re losing it all At the critical chapter Where I say “I love you” And you don’t say it after? This could be a disaster I’m pedaling backwards By saying that “I’m drunk I really shouldn't have called. I’m a little bit plastered..” You call me a liar, Now I’m falling in faster. This could be a disaster. Maybe I’m mistaken... You’re not mine for taking Maybe I’m mistaken... Maybe I just made it up, Messed it up. #ConanGray #Disaster Music video by Conan Gray performing Disaster. © 2022 Republic Records, a division of UMG Recordings, Inc.

Summer Tunage: Songs from Scratch | Deb Never x Audrey Nuna ‘Chump Change’

Saturday, August 20, 2022

 


Created by Yours Truly Creative in partnership with Adidas Originals Directed by Alexandra Thurmond Producers - Stacey Thiel & Anastasia Solovieva Executive Producers - Will Abramson & Babak Khoshnoud Director of Photography - Tehillah De Castro Editor - Alex Warren Photographer - Babak Khoshnoud Deb Management - Michael Washington Audrey Management - Anwar Sawyer 1st AC - Anthony J Hart 2nd AC - Lauren Arthur Gaffer - Stephanie Hauser Key Grip - Nick Perry Swing - Joe Schmitz Production Designer - Wesley Goodrich Art Director - Leo Johnson Art Assistant - Ryan Brennan Art Assistant - B Armstrong Photo Assistant - Gal Harpaz Stylist - Avigail Collins Stylist Assistant - Niki Friedman Makeup Artist - Kris Jung Hair - Karen Arechiga Sound Engineer - Jake Viator PA - Steven Flores PA - Colin Russel Assistant Editor - Evan Colten Color / Ethos Studio Colorist - Danté Pasquinelli Color Producer - Sam Cesan Sound Mix - Jake Viator IG Handles Created by @yourstrulycreative in partnership with @adidasoriginals Director @alex_thurmond Producers @staceylynn918 @nastiasolovieva Executive Producers - Will Abramson & Babak Khoshnoud Director of Photography @TehillahDeCastro Editor @alex_warren_4 Photographer @baw_bak_ Deb Management @michaelwashh Audrey Management @anwarsawyer 1st AC @anthony.j.hart 2nd AC - Lauren Arthur Gaffer - @shhauser Key Grip - Nick Perry Swing - Joe Schmitz Production Designer @paidfollower001 Art Director @leos_playground Art Assistant @ry.bread33 Art Assistant @could____b Stylist @avigail.collins Stylist Assistant - Niki Friedman Makeup Artist @s0ftglam Hair @earth.to.karen Sound Engineer @jakeviator.wav PA - Steven Flores PA - Colin Russel Assistant Editor @evcolten Color @ethos_studio Colorist @dantegiani Color Producer @smcesan Sound Mix @jakeviator.wav

Representative Judy Chu On Monkeypox

Saturday, August 20, 2022

Summer Tunage: Jaeyoung - Obnoxioius

Saturday, August 20, 2022

 





#JAEYOUNG #obnoxious #yearoftheox Stream Obnoxious by JAEYOUNG here: https://linktr.ee/yox_jaeyoung Produced by JAEYOUNG @yox_jaeyoung Directed by Richard Song aka Rich Shot It @ricchshotit Mixed and Mastered by PETER MSTR ROCKS HONG @misterxrocks Special Thanks to Kri Baldwin @thetailorlofts FOLLOW JAEYOUNG: @yox_jaeyoung @officialyox www.officialyox.com


Sure. It's Our Month (It's Been Our Month) But I'm Feeling Salty (So I'm Going To Stay Clothed)

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Typically I'd say something like "It's our month. Get naked and do anything you want to do." And sure, technically you still can, but this year I was feeling a little salty and I didn't feel like getting naked and running around the block.

It's like as much as we're making all this progress, we're still in some ways relegated to specific lanes. We're still seen as Asian Only. While it's now become "ok" to have some things of our own, there's still a lot of places we're not as welcome as we should be. There are still images that are too taboo.

At the same time, a thought keeps getting stronger and manifests itself is that we don't need anyone else either. That we can rally around our general communities (Asian, Native Hawaiin, and Pacific Islander). And that's good - I like that at least. 

But when you put the two together, while they make progress, in some ways they breed false positives. I love Asian on Asian, and CRA and the upcoming spinoff help, but when will we truly see an Asian American Male Romantic Lead Across The Board? With the same parity and equity as other groups? And yes - we have The Rock and Aquaman, but they're action.

I know - small steps. Nothing happens overnight. We're making progress. The outlook is bright. We're taking what's ours versus just waiting for it to happen.

Agreed. 

But why does it feel like we're still stuck in the mud sometimes? Why do we still not acknowledge that there are differences in a Vice President who is both Jamaican and South Asian, and someone who's Chinese or Vietnamese? That there is hierarchy in the perception of who we are in the eyes of others--the others who help make those decisions that will decide futures and wealth and accessibility. I think in order to understand the ceilings that exist and the walls that are still there for so many of us you have to acknowledge that, just like you have to acknowledge Colorism.

Why is it that we are barely still brought into conversations that concern us, and then when we are, we're gone in a blip afterwards, almost never to be heard from again (and huge kudos to Joy Reid on MSNBC who I think dares to pull us in more so than any other prime time news show does either via guests, or her own commentary)? Just the stories from newsrooms during the Atlanta Shooting Hate Crimes and how there was a fight to get Asian American viewpoints--to get the story straight--it just tells you all you need to know--because it was a killing spree of Asian Americans and we still had to fight for representation in the media. 

Have we really come that far when we look at all the data en masse? 

Or are we just tipping a little?

I don't know, and who knows, maybe it depends on the month. 

For now though I think I'm going with 1/2 glass empty in the hopes that maybe by thinking about what we don't have, helps get the glass more full, and sooner rather than later.

Happy MF AANHPI month to you.

MIN 50/50: Ối giời ơi–đây là nóng lắm

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Ối giời ơi–đây là nóng lắm và mình nghĩ tớ trong yêu lại bởi vì mình chỉ không giúp nó–âm nhạc của 50/50 của MIN bắt lửa. Thế có âm thanh kun này và nhắc tớ của 80’s và 90’s “synth” mà vẫn MIN đặc dị. Tất cả các nhạc của 50/50 là lửa nhưng bây giờ bài hát “Anh Qua Đây Đi” mình nghe hoài. Có lẽ mình sẽ làm TikTok với mình nhảy lol.

50/50 không có “Trên Tình Bạn Dưới Tình Yêu” - nó là “single”.



Don't Worry I'll "RISE" To The Challenge (AKA I'm Coming For You)

Thursday, March 24, 2022

I have a lot to say on a lot of things these days, but as the title of this post implies, I'll have to tackle one thing head on from a blogger and history side first.


And yeah - I know - who cares anyway right?

It's just little old me.

I'll see you soon motherfuckers.