I Think I Hate You Leland Cheung

Dear Leland:

Can I call you Leland? Actually I don't really care, because I don't like you. In fact I kinda hate you. Why? Maybe it has something to do with how utterly perfect you are. I mean c'mon - can you set the bar just a little bit higher for everyone else?

Who do you think you are?

I'll tell who you are. You're a nobody.

Just because you're only thirty-one and you're pulling degrees from MIT and fucking Harvard doesn't make you the shit - in fact - I'm not even going to acknowledge those degrees (and you didn't finish yet MF) because we all know those schools can't compare to the state school I went too and courses like "May I take your plate ma'am" and "Are those cockroaches in my kitchen?" - so don't even try and compare yourself with me you devilishly handsome piece of screw you.

But you know what really chaps my ass? It's also the fact that you're the first Asian American, and the first student, who was elected to the Cambridge City Council who even has people like Sam Yoon repping for you.

I mean Sam Yoon and you're a first?

If I didn't hate you enough already because of how good you look in a suit, now I really hate you. I'm so enraged I can't even finish this post. So thank you Leland Cheung for making my Holidays a little more crappier.

Not even closely yours,
Slanty