Birthday - American Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar

Happy Birthday Sanjaya,

Now that you’ve turned eighteen you too can can have naked photos of you “leaked” on to the Internet as well where it may, or may not, help your career (even though you already won AZN TV’s best reality star) - and if they somehow contain Paula’s and Simon’s and Randy’s too - I’m sure that will fare even better.

Just make sure to do something new with your hair.

Belated Birthday Wish: Connie Chung

Hey Connie Chung,

Just wanted to wish you a belated Happy Birthday.

Sorry I missed it.

I was still in mourning over Paula Zahn.

Anyway.

Here’s hoping to many more show cancellations in your future.

Don’t worry.

It takes everyone a little while to find their niche.

You’ll find yours soon too.