Say what you will and some people might, but I believe that I should share some of the knowledge that I've acquired while on this earth, because if nothing else I should at least be able to do that for my community, and I think this is one of those conversations that just sometimes needs to happen, because no one really talks about ball maintenance. We talk about abs, hair, wrinkles, clothes, et al., but I'm not going to the local store and seeing "12 Fabulous Ways To Make Your Balls Smooth And Succulent" on the cover of People.
But it's important.
Because everyone wants nice, good, smooth, fresh loving balls.
So, without further ado, and to the best of my ability...
Tips On Good Ball Maintenance
I really have a two step regiment, one in the shower and one after I get out. I like the Olay in the shower after I get done with the soapy goodness, and the Vaseline after I get out of the shower, and sure, it could just be that the marketing department did their job well, but I do in fact feel that my balls are more supple and radiant.
Now in the shower with the Olay, I really like to get a nice handful, spread it into both hands and then just start going to town on all of it. Right side, left side, cup my guys with one hand while the other gets to the head of the household, and just massage it all in. I'm not trying to get off, but just tenderly clean (although if a detour is necessary a detour is necessary). At the same time, I also like to pay attention to the inside of my thighs and what I sometimes like to refer to as the butt cheek continuum, because I want those to be fresh and good too because it's all connected (and no one's focusing on new rims if the engine is smelling kind of funky...). Once I'm done getting it all in and I feel like it's good - a few minutes - then I water it off and step on out of the shower (usually the last thing I do).
Once I'm out I like to dry off and then get a little of the Vaseline cocoa radiance (about two quarter sized dollops) and then go over my guys in the same way that I did with the Olay moisturizer. I just work it on in, take a little time, not too heavy, but enough to give it all a good shine - that being said - I cannot say that I've done a picture to picture comparison in different shades of light to truly test this statement, but, I feel like they're spiffier.
And then I'm done. That's it. Easy.
They're clean. They smell nice. They Feel nice. They're good to go for even the harshest of environments (because the Midwest can be harsh on the skin). And just knowing you're walking around with supple radiant goodness truly does give you a lift in your step.
*** While this may or may not work the best for you, or your skin type (be careful with skin allergies or irritations you may have), or region and weather - or you may already have your own regiment - I hope it at least gives you a few ideas and if nothing else gets the dialogue started for your own ball maintenance program, initiative, or upgrade.
Screw You Power Rangers. Screw You.
3 hours ago