Funny Or Die: Tila Tequila, Jennifer Aniston, And Zach Galifianakis (Between Two Ferns)?

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Tila Tequila from Between Two Ferns

You may have already seen this - but perhaps not.

Getting A Clue: Tila Tequila And Shawn Merriman

I have no idea what really happened - but neither do a lot of these people who are coming out on the wire about what went on between Tila Tequila and Shawn Merriman.

Here's a quote from Gawker:

Honestly, Ms. Tequila, you need to learn when to step back from the keyboard and let someone else do the talking. You're not exactly the most respected woman in the news, so if you want to garner public favor, you should exercise some restraint...

Or how about this simple headline from SignOnSanDiego:

Good golly, more Tequila

Or how about these quotes that I saw up at The Antisocial Ladder (which has a great post on how color plays into both of their images):

16. LOL maybe she might stop being such a hoe, flaunting her ass all over the damn place, she prolly tried to bite his tongue off too.

Posted at 1:22PM on Sep 6th 2009 by ShawnMcQuaid

9. She love him long time.

Posted at 1:15PM on Sep 6th 2009 by Tila At My Knee-la

10. BEAT THAT FUGLY SLUTTY B*ITCH!

Posted at 1:15PM on Sep 6th 2009 by linnyb

11. who cares about that nasty skank

Posted at 1:15PM on Sep 6th 2009 by bill whiteside

105. Tila is just a fame whore, and an actual whore. Merriman, congrat on chocking that b**ch! Should have hit her too, maybe it would have knocked some sense into her. LOL

Posted at 6:16PM on Sep 6th 2009 by Dan

How fucked up do you have to be to actually come out like that in a domestic abuse case?

Because Tila Tequila plays on sexuality in her day job?

What?

She's the first one to do that?

Just because you may play on the other side of the fence a little more with your clothes off doesn't mean shit. You're whole day job could be having sex in front of the camera but it doesn't mean that you should be subject to verbal or physical abuse.

From anyone.

I know I know, I must be out of my mind because she's just a little Asian Fuck Slut Cum Toy anyway and if it really did happen I mean c'mon she obviously deserved it right?

Get a clue you dumb motherfuckers.

Twitter Censors The Tila #Fart?

This could be of interest - or maybe not - for some reason I thought I'd post it on up anyway.

Four hours ago, MySpace queen Tila Tequila encouraged her Twitter followers to make the hashtag #FARTS a trending topic. They succeeded, putting #FARTS just below Michael Jackson in the number three spot. Apparently, Twitter doesn’t like that sort of thing. They just pulled #FARTS from the trending topics. Twitter normally pulls trending topics they suspect to be spam — but does an honest show of fandom, however quirky, count as spamming? More to the point, how could they possibly brand Tila, a Verified Account holder, as a spammer?

And just in case you were wondering, the TT page is in fact protected now.

The mysteries of a Tuesday...

Tila Tequila's Dog: That Dog's On Drugs

So if you watch this video where Tila Tequila is talking about her new reality show, which is going to be online (I'm not sure when but you can check here for updates because you know you're going to at least watch it once) - while I know dogs are supposed to be happy go lucky aminals - that dog's just a little too happy and if in its previous life it was a drug sniffing dog - I think it snuffed too much.

And yes - I do realize I just used the word snuffed for the past tense of sniff.

Just go with it.

It's Almost Over And Tila Goes Pole Dancing For Halloween?

I guess this really isn't a surprise, but Tila Tequila posted a video of herself pole dancing during a Halloween party and while you might ask the question as to why I'm posting it I can only say that in a complete non sequitur that the election and this endless campaigning is finally coming to an end, and while I've enjoyed the historical ride that it's been (and I'm crossing my fingers to see something truly historic), I guess I'm feeling a little hungover after watching the SNL Presidential Bash and I can only hope that tomorrow night early exit polls don't make me run to some seedy nightclub with a buffet where I'm drowning my sorrows in liquor and bad lap dances (and I guess I can now disagree with myself that this wasn't a complete non sequitur after all, and for some reason am thinking again about who actually eats at a strip club buffet because unlike the saying "You don't know where those hands have been" - you actually do).

P.S.

It was too much work to actually re-post the video.

h/t channelapa on the tt video

Tila Tequila Gets Classy?

I don't have any problems with cleavage in the same way I don't have issues with showing off your six pack abs - hey - you got it, you should flaunt it (especially if you're standing next to me and you think six pack abs are hotter than my nacho belly - because that means I'll make you look good, and if you've got six pack abs most likely that matters to you).

At the same time I'm not exactly sure that the word classy means showing 1/4 boob on each side (which makes a 1/2 a boob altogether), but that's how omg! described the above photo of Tila Tequila in their Best and Worst Dressed at the VMAs:

Best: Reality TV "star" Tila Tequila kept it classy for once in a white shirt, belted black vest, and tuxedo pants.

I mean it's a nice outfit, it works well, and it's also appropriate for the VMAs - so don't get me wrong - but I really do think whenever you can fit a whole cigar (or at least a cigarette) between the cleavage, the outfit really can't be described as classy anymore.

Tila Tequila Goes Bi-Bye

Update: PM5

Favorite finale clip (because I didn't watch it, but thanks to Yahoo News and YouTube I didn't need too):

My only thought on this is that they should have at least given everyone some fake tears to put in their eyes, because nothing says drama like tears -- versus dry crying, because that's like dry humping - and that's just not fun.

More Tila News (because you know you want it):

Tearful Tila Tequila Misses Her ‘Shot at Love’

But Tila herself had a surprise coming when Kristy refused the key. “You love that I’m honest and that I’m true to my feelings and true about who I am,” she said. “If I take this key I’m not being true.”

A Shot at Love 2 with Tila Tequila: Season Finale Recap

Tila chose Kristy, and Kristy turned her down! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Tila cries asking why she would do this to her, and Kristy says she's confused and accepting the key would make her not true to herself. Tila feels humiliated and walks off, crying the whole way. She doesn't understand what she's doing wrong and why she keeps getting her heart broken.

A Shot At Love 2

The first season, you make it believable - maybe there really might only be one. Maybe there's really a shot at love.

*sigh*

But after season one I think they should just call it what it is - "Some heavy petting and maybe a shot at sex with Tila Tequila".

It's honest.

Gritty even.

Tila chooses Bobby, but love doesn't earn interest

Even though I hadn't watched some of the last few episodes - in watching the flashback scenes as well as the last two dates in the finale - it wasn't really hard to guess who she was going to pick.

The little kisses she gave Dani "snuggling" versus the hot tub treatment with Bobby just solidified that in the end it was going to be Dani being left to get a table for one.

But remember that she is getting her own Futch clothing line out of all this - so she'll at least have some cash to keep her warm, and while it's not love - we all know TV love fades, but that cash - that Futchy cash is gonna keep on earning interest.

And sure - Bobby will end up getting some winner 1/2 and 1/2 out of it, but in the end he'll be single, lonely, broke, and without a clothing line. So if you think about it - Dani really did get the better deal.

It's futchy

While viewers have to wait to see who makes the actual pick in the Tila Tequila sweepstakes Reality TV show, something that has already come out of it seems to be two spin-offs and a new clothing line revolving around the word Futch (pronounced "footch").

Apparently this is the word that Tequila has described for contestant Dani Campbell (the one creating the clothing line) who she says is neither feminine like a lipstick lesbian or completely butch - but yet somewhere in between.

Reality TV show? Check. Inventing a new word? Check. Bisexual? Maybe not.

But you know you'll still watch.

More Tila, More Tequila, More Shots

Episode #2 has now passed and as far as celebrity/reality dating shows go - this is definitely different. The attrition of contestants is by far the fastest with the carnage and the clothes pretty much flying everywhere you look.

Sure - scantily clad pseudo sexual indiscretions while watching Tila and everyone else make out with each other is something MTV banked on for people to tune in - but as with everything else, once you get past the exterior (and you will - or at least should) it’s the dynamic of everyone together that proves to be the most interesting - especially the group mentalities of both the men and the women. You can argue that while the show is supposed to revolve around Tila Tequila - in some ways she’s secondary to the colorful group of people vying for her affections - and that’s not a bad thing either (for the show or for her).

Genuine Tequila?

As with everyone else that puts themselves into these situations - it begs the question of how much is for “true love” and how much is for simple entertainment and being on T.V. - and then you get to ask how much producers of the show influence the outcome of who leaves and who stays and how real is the reality T.V….

For what it’s worth - you do get the sense that Tila herself might make the decisions almost exclusively, as some of the people eliminated would have been good for the show’s drama level - but instead of drama - or virgins - the picks have actually seemed genuine to what she’s actually looking for (at least for TV romance).

Did the show come with a whistle?

Watching A Shot at Love makes you wonder what it would be like if someone like VH1 rocker Brett Michaels was put into this situation. Could he handle this much action and would he work the rooms any better than Tequila has done up to this point? No matter what you think of Tila Tequila herself - you at least have to admit that she’s good at working a room and directing the traffic.

So…

Bottom line - in the world of Reality TV dating shows - for what it is - it’s at least nice to know there’s some Asian representation pulling the strings and trying to do some things a little different.

Tila Tequila: A Shot At Love Premiere

Love her, hate her, want her - it doesn’t really matter - she’s arrived, and she’s brought her whole MySpace crew and their donkey peanuts with her for A Shot At Love on MTV:

Are you ready for the ultimate battle of the sexes? Well, you better be ’cause there’s about to be an all-out war over cyber hottie Tila Tequila!

Although Tila has racked up more than 2 million MySpace friends, she still hasn’t found “the one,” and she’s ready to do anything to find him — or her! This self-proclaimed “bisexual freak” has had her heart broken by men and women, and she’s tired of being alone. With our help, she’s inviting 16 luscious lesbians and 16 sexy straight guys over to her place for A Shot of Love With Tila Tequila.

Yes, it’s time for Tila to unfurl her freak flag and find true love.

At first, the guys and girls won’t know about each other. But once Tila narrows the field down to a few of her favorites, she’s going to tell them all that she’s bi. And when the two sides learn they have to vie for her affection, all hell breaks loose. There’ll be hair pulling, sucker punching, ball-busting and, er, even some butt waxing.

Oh, and let’s not forget threesomes. There’s bound to be at least a few of those. But all is fair in love and war, right?