An Open Letter To Imaginary K-Girl

Dear Imaginary K-Girl:

I figured as I was doing my laundry right now it might be a nice time to write you this letter, in part, because even though you're imaginary, I still feel the need to tell you things - and honestly - I've been kind of busy lately, and I feel bad that I haven't told you all the things I really want to say to you.

So here it goes....

First, I just want to say that you're perfect.

I mean really perfect.

Movie perfect.

Son Ye-Jin in "A Moment To Remember" perfect.

And that I also love you.

I mean really love you.

Like the type of love I can only express through a Hallmark card (because as you know, I'm not a man of words when it usually comes to my feelings).

I know it may not be true love, in part because you're just a fiction of my imagination, but it's love nonetheless.

And I feel it -- so it has to be real.

And if I could?

Well --

I might even marry you (although imaginary J-Girl might not really care for me anymore if we're married, but honestly, she hasn't really been around lately and the last time we were supposed to meet she stood me up and I just didn't think that was nice of her to do even if she really did have a prior engagement that she forgot about).

But here's the thing - we kind of need to keep it low key, a little bit more so than we have - and I know what you're going to say -- it's really me who needs to tone it down because you're not the one professing your love from rooftops to people you don't know and that I'm actually the loud one in bed who wakes up the neighbors.

But I figure there's no "I" in imaginary coupledom.

We're a team.

And sure, no one can actually see you, but that doesn't matter to me --

Because you're perfect.

And I love you.

I really really do.

But....

And I don't know how to say this - so I'm just going to say it.

You're kind of making Real K-Girl a little jealous and I'm not really sure how to handle that and I know what you want to say - and I kind of agree - even though I love you - you are imaginary - and it does beg the question of how sound Real K-Girl is if she gets jealous of you Imaginary K-Girl.

In fact, come to think about it, she's even jealous of Unicorn Girl.

Who in their right mind would be jealous of Unicorn Girl?

And the more I think about it - I'm actually a little peeved - because I'm no one's fool - there's no ring on this finger - no one controls me. No one tells me who I can and cannot see.

I'm a Big Cat.

And the Big Cat needs to roar.

In fact....

I'm gonna tell Real K-Girl exactly what I think about this whole situation....

O.K.

I'll see you soon.

Yours.