Phrase You Will Never Hear Me Say

Sunday, December 06, 2009

I really do believe everyone's different - beautiful, flawed, nervous, inconsistent, stunning in their own ways and when it comes to relationships, specifically those involving people from the API community - one thing you will never hear me say is something akin to this:

If you date or partner up with someone who's White, you're a race hating Asian American

I'm not saying that there aren't people who do actually hate who they are - and people that resemble them - or that only see Whiteness as a symbol of beauty, or go out of their way to never date or be with anyone who's of Asian American descent - because they do exist - but I can't - and I never will - make general statements about each and every relationship.

I don't care who you fuck. It doesn't make you "down" with the community - whoever you are or who you aren't with - it's who you happen to be into.

Those moments - taking a walk, holding someone's hand, being awkward, embarrassed, sharing those things you don't with other people like letting them see you when you're not your strongest, smartest, or most polished of selves - accepting you as the happy go lucky dumbass who you are - those - finding someone to share them with can be hard enough - I'll be happy for you just because you found them - although truth be told - those are the easy things.

How about talking with someone about a future? Your finances? Children? Sexual fetishes? That split second of trepidation when you're naked in the most vulnerable of positions asking yourself "Can I trust this person?". While I've never been the fister or the fistee - I don't think color or ethnicity really matter too much at that point. You're just hoping everyone's in a good mood.

Sure, you can say certain images might project a stereotypical view - one where Asian on Asian just isn't seen as it is in real life and no one but the typical White Male is seen as being viable - but to me - that's on screen. That's media representation. If you don't see Asian couples together then you really must not know any Asian people whatsoever - because all you have to do is look around - it's there. It just doesn't get represented in media as much as it should.

But on the ground - in real life - I won't chastise people for not being a symbol of something I don't see in the media. I'm not going to take my frustrations out on anyone for being an AF/WM, AM/WM, AF/WF, or AM/WF couple.

I just don't work that way.