I'm Not Traditional Nor Respectful And If You Really Want To Pick Up An Asian American Man (Or Take It To The Next Level) Here's How

Thursday, June 10, 2010

So I was reading these posts down at YOMYOMF which have to do a lot with the non-Asian American/Asian American male pairing and in some ways kind of sums up why some women love us so much -- which comes down to us being respectful, traditional, and dignified.


I'm an Asian American male and not that respectful.

I'm kind of a dick actually and most people that have known me for any amount of time will tell you that, especially after they've thrown a drink in my face for something that I've said.


I've been known to actually stop in traffic, get out of the car, and berate the people behind me for using their horn too much while shouting at me.

When I happen to leave my hole in the wall and go to what some people might call a "real restaurant", when they try to take my fork I can't help but resist to which they reply (as they laugh at me trying to take said fork out of my hand) "We'll bring you a new one for the next course."


Uhhh. Ok.

If that means keeping my tradition of buying the bestest and softest Kleenex to masturbate into (because I believe in treating myself well) - sure - I'm totally traditional.

Things To Say To Help Get An Asian American Man Or Take It To The Next Level (At Least Some Of Us)

There's no money-back guarantee here and I'm leaning on porn and letters to penthouse, but this shit's free and if you're not paying for advice it's probably not that good anyway so don't bother e-mailing me with "WTF is this?"

  • I was thinking for our first date, just because I don't know if I could control myself around you alone and I don't want to take things too fast, maybe I'd bring a friend along just to make it more comfortable and interesting. She's really cool and she loves to give head. Give him a moment to catch his breath and then say K?
  • Lean over and whisper into his ear while you show ample skin God my pussay is so fucking wet for you right now. And remember, you have to say pusssay - kinda trashy not like you're raising your hand to answer a question (think Randall Park keyed up raising his hand saying "Oooo Ooooo my pussy's wet. My pussy's really wet! See! See!" - it ruins the effect).
  • I have an extra ticket to the NBA Finals. Wanna go? (that one would work specifically on me btw because I could care about sex - it's the NBA finals - and as long as we're talking about being wet I think Ray Allen needs some lube to help the ball go in - 0 of 13 - that's criminal Ray).
  • I was thinking maybe we'd get some Pho and then afterwards we could you know, go into the alley...Make sure to wink at this point. But...if you're not up for that, maybe you could get out the video camera later on? I think this one is fool-proof because it lets him know you're interested as well as brings food and technology into the mix while also giving him some creative control, all things the Asian American male just can't deny.
  • As you're getting to know more about each other's likes and dislikes sexually just drop in the obligatory My last boyfriend didn't really like to do the same things I did and I just got tired of it because I really like ass to mouth a lot and he just didn't want to do that. I mean c'mon - who doesn't like a little ass to mouth action?
Again, no money-back guarantee, no assurances, and this advice is coming from someone who's a proclaimed romantic at heart.

Good luck in snagging your next, or first, Asian American male.