An Open Letter To Unicorn Girl

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Dear Unicorn Girl:

I really don't know why I'm writing this post. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I mentioned you to a friend and than said I was going to post on you, but other than that - I'm not really sure why (however it may come to me as I finish writing it).

First let me say you are absolutely 100% no holds barred girl next door I think you rival Shu Qi beautiful. And I think you might be my muse - but we'll get to that later.

Second, yes I'm kinda of kicking myself for not saying hi to you the first night I saw you when you did that thing that all guys love which is stand with your legs crossed and then take your foot out of your heel and kind of let it hang - because it's just enough for us to get us completely interested especially if you also happen to be wearing a white skirt at the time - and yes this is after I seemed to run into you about three other times.

Now I know what you're going to say Unicorn Girl which is "Why didn't you say hi to me? I was giving you the vibe" and that answer is simple - I didn't know if you were really giving me the vibe - because sometimes it's hard to tell with Unicorns - and more importantly - I couldn't tell if you were actually with someone at the time because it's really hard to tell when we travel in groups and you're sitting next to a guy who's sitting on a chair with another women who seems to be his wife but then when you sit next to him, he puts his arm around you - kind of.

Was it familial?

Are you a sister-in law?

Did he just win something big?

I still don't know these answers to these questions.

O.K., so you may be wondering why I'm referring to you as Unicorn Girl - and this is why - which also brings me back to why you might be my muse - albeit a muse that directs me to winning slot machines.

See a few weeks later I happened to be at the same gambling establishment and I swear to all that is mythical that you walked right past me with a knowing smile of remembering me.

At least I'm pretty sure that was you.

Now I was all set to jump up and say "What the hell, didn't I see you here a few weeks ago?" - but I was in the middle of a bonus round and well you know - it's the bonus round - but I tried to look for you again, got distracted, and then sat down on another machine and said to myself "If I get into the bonus round again, I'm going to search her out in the same area that I saw her last time."

So truth be told - I did get into the bonus round, although I did stay there for another 20 spins or so - but I did go back to where I saw you earlier.

And as you might know - I didn't find you there.

I got up on chairs to get a good view. I went to the middle. I went to the side. I went to that big machine you happened to be mesmerized by when I saw you the first time- but nothing.

You were gone.

It was like you never existed.

Did I just imagine you?

I don't know, maybe I did...

There is a happy ending however.

See, I ended up going the machine that I saw you at a few weeks prior where I couldn't tell who was married to who - and wouldn't you know it - after a few spins I got into the bonus round and won five hundred and some odd dollars at that same machine (not bad for a $1.50 bet).

I know right?


And as you might have already guessed - that machine had Unicorns on it - which is why I'm now referring to you as Unicorn Girl and I figure even though I didn't find you again - I still got points for trying and that's all we can ask for right?

Because who knows. We could have met. Took a stroll outside. Gotten to know each other. I would have been a consummate gentlemen offering to get you a drink from the free drink dispenser and a one dollar slot dog to go with it - but in the end would it have lasted?

Would it have been real?

I guess we'll never know.

But I do know this much: That five hundred dollars was real.

So here's to hoping I see you again where we get to finally meet, or maybe I just end up winning a $300,000 progressive jackpot.