Random Things I Like To Do When White People Are Around Me

Sunday, October 12, 2008

As an Asian American and person of color somedays I just like to do things because I can - and because I have some fun with it - even if only for myself and even if they aren't all that revolutionary.

1. Roll up my windows and lock my car when I'm at an intersection and a group of white people are looking at me.

2. When a nice looking white couple passes by my car and it's out on the street, I like to give the alarm an extra beep and just stare at them for a moment and then lock my car again and make kind of a small grunting noise (I did this again tonight and it served as the impetus for the post).

3. If I see something written in French ask someone if they speak White.

4. Switch my backpack/briefcase to the other shoulder and clutch it noticeably tighter if a white guy is coming towards me, and then speed up a little faster and then give him a quick look like he's going to jack my shit.

5. If I'm around a white person and they look uncomfortable standing close to me in the checkout line, I just move up closer to them but don't actually say anything. Sometimes I grab some Tic Tacs from the impulse buy section and just shake them for a minute.