A Quick Letter To The Lady That Sued Cap'n Crunch And The Crunch Berries

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Dear Janine Sugawara,

I know times are tough and we all got a make a little on the side when we can, but I think you probably would have had a better chance of - well - ANYTHING - instead of trying to sue Cap'n Crunch and Crunch Berries because the cereal doesn't actually have REAL BERRIES in it and there aren't, as Lowering the Bar already stated, any Crunchberry patches for you to frollick in.

Don't they have a produce section at your grocery store?

I mean how do you mistake a Crunchberry for real fruit, and not just once or twice - because I might understand that if you have no sense of smell, never went outside, lost the ability to taste, can't feel anything, and you might also happen to be a fictional character who doesn't really exist - but we're talking four years here.

That's kind of a long time.

And I don't want to make fun of you or anything - because that just wouldn't be right - but I'd really love to see you sit down and draw a Food Pyramid.

Anyway, good luck with your next lawsuit.