Renaldo Lapuz: You're Pimpalicious

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Dear Renaldo,

I just had to give you a big ass shout to say how motherfucking pimpalicious you truly are. While I often lament the dearth of characters for Asian Americans in mainstream media - I love real characters - and you my friend are as real as they come, and that damn tune of yours We're Brothers Forever is catchy as a mofo - even if it is the same four lines over and over - but I guarantee that shit's going gold.

At the same time I want to warn you - there're going to be some dumbass people who say some dumbass things about you like "He's the reason why Asian Americans aren't taken seriously in the music business and by the general public".

Don't listen to these whiny cry baby little f**cks Renaldo, because it's not your fault that great Asian American musicians aren't taken seriously by record producers, or that some people don't think Asian Americans will have enough of an appeal to the general public - that's not your issue.

THAT issue lies with people who decide to stereotype Asian Americans into a box - people who think that one white hot furry Filipino with slick big daddy pimp style on American Idol is the way all Asian Americans are - you savvy?

And sure, you don't quite fit the bill to go on the road with Snacky Chan or do a duet with Kawehi, but really - we know that - and I think you know that too.

But are you ready to take the next great leap into not quite good enough but bitchin' enough to sell more records than William Hung status because of your pimpalicious so bad it's good style where you got everyone out of their seat including Paula look at me do sign language on crack Abdul?

Oh yeah.


Check out the original audition here, a lip synch by a fan, and the modern dance rendition.